When You Tell Your Lover That You've Done Yourself
by Skittles Pie
Summary: The full title is When You Tell Your Lover That You've Done Yourself They'll Think It's Hot, it's basically a bit of PWP mixed with a bit of whatever was in mind at the time I wrote it.


**Hello everyone! I've recently gone into a Gintama craze since I'm all caught up with One Piece, I've only been reading the manga though. And hopefully I'll have something for Broken Smile soon, and KEC-TMDLC as well. Sorry for not having updated in awhile though.**

**Without further adieu,**

**Read, Enjoy, and Review!**

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><p><strong>When You Tell Your Lover That You've Done Yourself They'll Think It's Hot<strong>

_Serena-loves-Angst_

"G–Gintoki!" Hijitaka cries out, thick ropes of white essence splattering across his and Gintoki's stomachs. He shudders in the afterglow of his orgasm.

"H–Hijikata!" Gintoki moans as he releases his seed just a few thrusts after.

They lay there panting and entangled together, too comfortable and tired in this position to move.

"That was our _fifth_ round, what's up with you tonight?" Hijikata asks, putting his arms behind his head and secretly loving that the content sigh Gintoki gives as he snuggles into the juncture between his neck and shoulder is caused by him.

"Promise you won't get mad?" Gintoki asks.

"It depends," Hijikata replies in deadpan. Seeing Gintoki's pout he sighs, "Fine, I won't."

"Well, you see… you know how I told you that Shinichi―"

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><p>"It's <em>Shinpachi<em>…" Shinpachi mutters in his sleep as he turns over in his cot.

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><p>"You're still messing up his name this far into the manga? Geez, how far will you go, Gintoki?" Hijikata sighs.<p>

Gintoki frowns and paws at Hijikata's chest, "I just have to accomplish tying you up and covering you with strawberry frosting, then accomplish a jail break with Zura―"

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><p>"It's not Zura, it's Katsura." Katsura mumbles in his sleep, clutching Elizabeth close to him, like Sa-chan with a Gintoki-plushy (<strong>AN: Come on, you all saw this coming<strong>).

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><p>"And then all that's left is being kidnapped by an alien slave trader, then having you burst in and save me and then lots of hot sex!" Gintoki beams, finishing his list.<p>

Hijitaka whacks him over the head, "You've already done the first one… thirty times. And you did the second one last week, and I _really_ hope that you don't get kidnapped by an alien slave trader because then I _know_ that there are details that are too troublesome to deal with in imprisonment, almost-rape, rescuing, and sex with a happy ending." He says, "And anyways, you were talking about how you and Shinpachi what the other day?" He asks.

"He, Kagura, and Gin-san, that's me―"

"I know that you idiot."

"―all got shrunk and put into Tama's body because she was sick and we had to go destroy the virus." Gintoki continues, completely ignoring Hijikata's comment. "But it turns out that her white blood cells were people in white bodysuits, and the King lived in this weird castle, then when we went to go see him, he revealed that he was a virus! And so were all of the other white-blood cells! But the dog transformed, and he looked _exactly_ like me. And we fought the whole time, it was so annoying~" Gin whines and Hijikata rolls his eyes, "Tama later told me that he was a clone of me that her mind had made to protect her immune system. Somehow, I found myself in bed with the guy; we went at it four times, then he couldn't go at it anymore. And I _know_ that you and I can go at more times than that, so I felt that we should go at it for as long as we can!" Gintoki finishes his long explanation.

Hijikata's hand is on his nose, and he's blushing furiously. He's imagining two Gintoki's going at it four times, and the dirty words and touches… He can almost see a dominant, smirking silver-haired Yorozuya thrusting into Gintoki, huskily telling him―

"Oi, Oogushi-chan~" Gintoki waves a hand in front of his face, making Hijikata snap out of his perverse imaginings. "Are you alright, you look– oh, you perverted bastard." Gintoki smirks devilishly after he realizes what Hijikata was just thinking about.

"S–Shut up, I just thought about… mayonnaise, that's right, _mayonnaise_." He lies.

Gintoki rolls his eyes, "Just shut up and admit that you think it's hot that I basically screwed myself." He says.

Hijikata doesn't say anything but he sits up and pushes Gintoki down onto cot, looming over him predatorily. He flashes him a grin, all of his imagining has gone straight down to Hijikata Jr. and he knows exactly how he's going to relieve himself.

Hijikata leans down and he nips the sensitive spot near Gintoki's ear, making the other moan softly. Hijikata's lips ghost over Gintoki's ear. "Alright, I'll admit it. I think it's one of the most arousing thoughts I've ever imagined, and it makes me hot and bothered." Gintoki knows that he's in trouble. He's unleashed the Hijikata that likes dirty talk, and most of the time, he ends up making his actions dirtier than his words.

"A–Ano, Oogushi-kun, I was just kidding. Joking, y–you know, right?" Gintoki says nervously, trying to save himself and his ass. Though, he knows it's useless and that he'll be limping for the next few days, probably for the week…

Hijikata just chuckles darkly, "It's my turn on top."

_Someone help Gin-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!_

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><p><strong>I hope it wasn't too OOC, Gintoki and Hijikata's characters are a little tricky to write.<strong>

**I might make a prequel to this, one where Gintoki and the Leukocyte King go at it four times.**

**And possibly a sequel, remember what Gintoki had said about wanting to be kidnapped by an alien slave trader and Hijikata saving him with a hot sex ending?**

**Yeah, so I'll probably make those, just PM me or review your answers.**

**[EDIT 12/31/2012]**

**There IS a sequel for this story! It's called **_**Be Careful What You Wish For (or Your Ass May be Filled with a Chinko You Don't Want!)**_** so go ahead and check it out! Hope you like the ending better for those who have read it before~**

**Serena-loves-Angst**


End file.
